It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
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I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
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You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
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