okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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