In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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