Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
What a fucking waste of an outfit
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
You dont lie about slip and slides
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize