She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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