Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
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