my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
She bit a glass in half.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
He has the fingertips of a God
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