he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
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We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
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Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
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