We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize