did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
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