woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
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She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
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just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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