Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize