True but thats because hes a fetus.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
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I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
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Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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