xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
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Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
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