D3 body, D1 cock
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
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