Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
My ass is underappreciated
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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