from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Randomize