but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
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