so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
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I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
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