Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Randomize