Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
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I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
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Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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