I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
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