ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
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