I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize