So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
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