You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
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We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
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Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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