Texts From Last Night

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  (586): View more from Michigan

  he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..

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  (586): he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today.. http://tfl.nu/ftkb
  Replies (36) Good night (732) Bad night (10558) Order T-Shirt
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  (315): View more from New York

  i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?

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  (315): i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now? http://tfl.nu/2nou
  Replies (16) Good night (3799) Bad night (1028)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?

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  (404): So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat? http://tfl.nu/7wij
  Replies (12) Good night (5572) Bad night (966) Order T-Shirt
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  (419): View more from Ohio

  I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.

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  (419): I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars. http://tfl.nu/ussa
  Replies (37) Good night (2049) Bad night (7594) Order T-Shirt
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.

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  (703): No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off. http://tfl.nu/2s4x
  Replies (10) Good night (6576) Bad night (800)
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.

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  (978): As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine. http://tfl.nu/djyf
  Replies (24) Good night (2856) Bad night (1464) Order T-Shirt
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.

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  (541): You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize. http://tfl.nu/yage
  Replies (5) Good night (2552) Bad night (921) Order T-Shirt
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together

  (770): View more from Georgia

  The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy

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  (404): You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together (770): The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy http://tfl.nu/sw3w
  Replies (7) Good night (2763) Bad night (593)
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  (585): View more from New York

  Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer

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  (585): Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer http://tfl.nu/enk8
  Replies (4) Good night (1948) Bad night (583) Order T-Shirt
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.

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  (248): I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom. http://tfl.nu/9ssn
  Replies (3) Good night (891) Bad night (379) Order T-Shirt
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  (520): View more from Arizona

  This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.

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  (520): This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina. http://tfl.nu/8kic
  Replies (9) Good night (775) Bad night (221) Order T-Shirt
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  (709): View more from Newfndlnd, Labradr

  its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless

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  (709): its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless http://tfl.nu/73du
  Replies (5) Good night (442) Bad night (336) Order T-Shirt
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  (856): View more from New Jersey

  He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority

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  (856): He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority http://tfl.nu/8eu2
  Replies (3) Good night (1160) Bad night (189) Order T-Shirt
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  (604): View more from British Columbia

  You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.

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  (604): You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement. http://tfl.nu/pi1i
  Replies (2) Good night (851) Bad night (160) Order T-Shirt
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  (561): View more from Florida

  am i new drunk or am i still drunk

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  (561): am i new drunk or am i still drunk http://tfl.nu/zvnj
  Replies (3) Good night (539) Bad night (145) Order T-Shirt

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