I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
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I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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