i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize