She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
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