Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize