I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Randomize