Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Randomize