Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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