I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
I party with great urgency now.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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