my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
So much rum. So many feels.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
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