well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize