you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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