dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I need water and some morals
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
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