I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
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