So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize