Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
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Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
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You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
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