I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
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