im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
Randomize