Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
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She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
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Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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