You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
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Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
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It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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