he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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