some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
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