Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
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