Im at strip club and am horny
? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
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God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
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